Happiness is a Choice
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Hello! It’s been a really long time since I have written to you.
How are you doing? I really, really hope you are doing well in life.
The last few weeks have been a series of hard-hitting realizations. Everything from Time Travel to the fundamental intricacies of human nature, which haven’t really changed over the last thousands of years. Empires have come and gone, and civilizations have mushroomed and perished, but the fundamental nature of human beings remains unchanged.
But more on that later. Today I want to share something very peculiar about one thing that invariably all of us seek - Happiness.
What is Happiness?
I recently joined a Philosophy class. And the one question we ended up discussing in depth, is the human chase of happiness.
Especially in today’s day and age, where abundance is a bigger problem than scarcity, happiness seems to be even more elusive than ever before. Irony does serve delicious dishes in such cold-blooded times.
Just in the last 3 years, we have faced 3 big global events that have threatened the existence of all of human civilization.
First, the COVID-19 pandemic literally shut down the entire world.
Followed by the war in Ukraine, which brought us closer to a Nuclear World War.
And now the recent war that has erupted in Israel, which carries an active threat of the entire Middle East burning.
And in times like these, where everyone is fighting with everyone, where do we find happiness? Is it really surprising that the cases of depression, suicides, and divorces, are on a steep and steady rise?
And in this broken reality, where we are constantly seeking happiness, it is an important question to ponder whether we will ever really achieve it.
I have a different proposition for you, one that has definitely changed my life completely, and for good.
Life is a long series of choices and consequences
Ever since I started studying the art & science of decision-making, one thing has become extremely evident.
Our life is a series of choices we make, and the consequences we experience.
That’s it.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And while we are conditioned to stress out about the consequences of our future actions, we rarely give much attention to our present reality.
Just yesterday, I was listening to this podcast on “The Essence of Bhagwat Geeta” hosted by Kushal Mehra with Ami Ganatra as his guest. (Listen to the full podcast here.)
During their conversation, they refer to something which Lord Krishna says to Arjuna, about focusing on the actions and not worrying about the end result.
कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन || (Bhagwat Geeta, Chapter 2, Verse 47)
All our struggles, all our stress,
All our pain, all our defeats,
Everything seems to be an interplay between the choices we have to make, and the consequences we want.
Wanted vs Unwanted consequences
But despite our best efforts, we can never control the consequences we face. That is precisely why we keep on saying “Life happens”.
Let’s take an example. Suppose Shah Rukh Khan or Hrithik Roshan or any of your favourite actors/actresses really, announce a new film.
You watch the trailer, and you are super excited! In your excitement, you book the tickets for the first day, the first show in your favourite cinema hall.
On the day of the release, you wake up early, get dressed and enter the cinema hall with utmost excitement!
But, to your extreme disappointment, the film turns out to be trash. You cannot even digest the fact that your favourite actor/actress could produce such a shitty film.
I am sure all of us have faced a similar situation in our lives.
What really happened here, was we made a choice to go and watch that film at the earliest possible point in time, given our excitement about the film. But, contrary to our expectations, the film turned out to be trash - leading to extreme disappointment.
And that my friends, is exactly what life is. The choices we make, and the consequences we face.
If we face a “wanted consequence” we are elated! We are happy!
If we face an “unwanted consequence” we are disappointed, we are extremely unhappy.
The life we live is the choices we make today
The lesson that I learn from this understanding, is we can never control the outcome of our choices. We can hope for the consequences we wish to face, but it will always be a probability and not a guarantee.
What we do control is the choices we make. That’s it.
Even if we rethink the same movie situation we talked about above, we rushed to make the choice of watching the movie in the very first show after release. Maybe it would have been much better, to wait for a day or two more, get some reviews about the actual movie, and then make our choice about watching it or not. And I think this stands true for most of the things we do in our lives.
Right from the people we choose to date, the jobs that we sign up for, the cars that we buy, and the parties we attend - all of these are choices we are making each and every day.
Yes, some choices may be pre-planned - like the trip you have planned 2 months from now.
And some choices we may make after considering them for weeks - like the house we would like to buy.
But ultimately, that is all we do - make choices.
Are you happy with the choices you are making?
Now the question really becomes - are we happy with the choices we are making?
Yes, in hindsight, everybody is wise. In hindsight, everybody can point out our mistakes, and share more information about how we could have done better.
But what is past, is past. Unfortunately, we cannot change the choices we have made in the past. We have already travelled that time.
The only thing we should ask ourselves, is am I happy with the choices I am making today?
Being happy with choices every day = Living a Happy life
And if you zoom out, our “life” is nothing but a series of “days” we are living. We only live for one day, every day.
We have memories of our past, and we may have plans for our future.
But as the famous riddle goes, “Tomorrow” is always approaching, but it never truly arrives.
Now think about it, if we are happy about the choices we are making every day, aren’t we bound to live a happy life?
Yes, in the larger scheme of things, there will be periods when we will be forced to make difficult choices. Yes, there will be times when the situations will be so dire, that no choice we make seems “good”.
But, what matters is if we can do the best we can, every single day of our life. If we can take the worst options in front of us, and make choices which we are happy about. The consequences of which, we will gladly accept.
Happiness is never an outcome my friends.
Happiness is always a choice.
I wish you all a lifetime of happiness.